THE FIRST DAY OF A NEW LIFE

I meditate every day now, otherwise, it's all a bit much. I'm going to Amsterdam today to get the keys from my new place. It's exciting but I'm also a little bit nervous.

It's a beautiful day at the beach. I walked far along it, keeping my feet in the water. It's healing. 

I was on my way to the station in the Hague and my future ex-husband asked me to have a coffee with him. I said no, but he insisted in a nice way. And after all our hours-long disputes on the phone, I thought it will help both of us not hate each other. Plus I had an hour to spare.

So we met at the station. Had a coffee. He gave me a book. I thought it was cute. But anyway, he said that he doesn’t want to divorce. The reason why he said so on Monday night when he came from England was that he knows what my mum does to me and how she makes me fearful and then influences my decisions. And that’s why he said “no” so easily because otherwise, it would have been a ticking bomb anyway.

I told him that I’m very very grateful to him for detecting it and saying “no” because I cannot give him the love he is asking for and deserves, and it wouldn’t be fair.

And then he put me on the train and I went off to build my new life.

I'm sitting in front of the new apartment in a cafe, just picking through the balcony at the girl who is moving out. Moments away from getting the keys. 

I had dinner in a little place outside and watched the street in a sunset.

Afterwards, I had to decide what I take care of first. Of course, I replaced all the lights within the first fifteen minutes of the move-in as they were dark and strange colour. Then I put on relaxing music and made sure that everything in the bedroom is sparkly clean and fresh. I prepared the bed with the bed set that I brought with me and my fluffy toy. And when everything was ready I lit up candles. 

I think I'm going to sleep well.

Does the story of the Runaway Wife inspire you? 

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